We thought we’d look at Dad’s and how they can be better in their roles as parents. Father’s have an important role to play in the lives of their children. Here are some tips for helping you be the father your children deserve.
One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. If you are married,keep your marriage strong and vital. If you are not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. A father and mother who respect each other and let their children know it provide a secure environment for them. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected.
“I agree wholeheartedly with this – my daughter is always the first the dish out a tongue lashing when we have ‘words’! She is living proof that no matter how young to kids are they have enough intuition to pick up when something is not right.”
2. Spend Time with Your Children
How a father spends his time tells his children what is important to him. If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. Kids grow up so quickly. Missed opportunities are lost forever.
“From my personal experience this is a very important point. You could go further to say that spending QUALITY time with your kids is real issue for me. Actually engaging with them whilst spending time with them is time well invested, as they respond better to you when you come back from not being there. ie at work, etc and I do not feel that I have to start from scratch when I can engage with them.
I think an important point here is throughout the development of your child, from the start their needs in ‘spending time with them’ changes and if you get to know your child from early on by spending quality time with them you can identify how to respond effectively as they grow.
As you know this is a very difficult thing for me to balance and I don’t always get right!”
3. Earn the Right to Be Heard
All too often, the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. That is why so many children cringe when their mother says, “Your father wants to talk with you.” Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.
4. Discipline with Love
All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.
5. Be a Role Model
Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.
6. Be a Teacher
Too many fathers think teaching is something others do, but a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons of life.
“For me this is easily achieved by being constant (although being constant is not easily achieved). A vital introduction for a father to be able to trust their children (when they are older) is being able to witness your child naturally making good choices. Once the child has demonstrated this often enough your role as a teacher now becomes a guide.”
7. Eat Together as a Family
Sharing a meal together (breakfast, lunch, or dinner) can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice. Most importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day.
8. Read to Your Children
In a world where television often dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children. Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.
9. Show Affection
Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and loved by their family. Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection everyday is the best way to let your children know that you love them.
“This not only benefits the child as described above, but is hugely beneficial to the father as well. Can’t go wrong with this one!”
10. Realize That a Father’s Job Is Never Done
Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it is continued schooling, a new job, or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families.
“Important point for me here is to realize when to stop being the teacher and start being the guide.”
Thanks to all the dads who commented on these. Your input is, as always, most welcome!
If you’re a dad and you’re reading this, What do you think? And Mothers, how do you feel about these 10 points?
I am a preschool and primary school teacher and mum to 3 children. I have been involved in education since 1997 and have trained in a variety of educational specialist areas. It is with this expertise that I write articles to help parents and educators provide quality learning experiences for the children in their care.
